You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
