I just saw a hot homeless man
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
