I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
