ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
