Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
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