All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
