Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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