Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
