you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
