You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Randomize
