I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
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