hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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