Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Randomize
