There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
