do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
