ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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