He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
