I just gift wrapped bread.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
