I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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