After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
