guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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