How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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