Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
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