Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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