Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Watching her eat just hurts me
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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