Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
