It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
