I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
