The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
even my farts smell like vagina
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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