who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
