i barfeds in our rink
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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