my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
