what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
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