Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
We just shotgunned beers for America
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
