why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
