the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
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