Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize