oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
