Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (403): If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me http://tfl.nu/3lvx
  Replies (25) Good night (1013) Bad night (3478)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (303): She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now http://tfl.nu/p6no
  Replies (26) Good night (1339) Bad night (4382)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead? http://tfl.nu/xbgb
  Replies (29) Good night (2383) Bad night (4830)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it. http://tfl.nu/v1ti
  Replies (9) Good night (1071) Bad night (3031)
• Favorite

  (940): View more from Texas

  Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (940): Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him. http://tfl.nu/o9z5
  Replies (10) Good night (990) Bad night (3517)
• Favorite

  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  your completely serious

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (774): I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby (617): your completely serious http://tfl.nu/nhex
  Replies (9) Good night (2444) Bad night (1079)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life. http://tfl.nu/nr1l
  Replies (6) Good night (1991) Bad night (771)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over. http://tfl.nu/abn4
  Replies (8) Good night (3317) Bad night (851)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (706): Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note http://tfl.nu/2uyq
  Replies (5) Good night (4320) Bad night (908)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (510): Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior. http://tfl.nu/2r56
  Replies (6) Good night (1463) Bad night (617)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night? http://tfl.nu/txqd
  Replies (1) Good night (971) Bad night (870)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me. http://tfl.nu/yb33
  Replies (6) Good night (736) Bad night (1659)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you http://tfl.nu/2xma
  Replies (2) Good night (855) Bad night (319)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (301): there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night? http://tfl.nu/hxw0
  Replies (1) Good night (747) Bad night (423)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0

  (1-740): View more from Ohio

  If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it

  (740): View more from Ohio

  Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0 (1-740): If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it (740): Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy http://tfl.nu/hs5w
  Replies (1) Good night (513) Bad night (297)

Randomize