Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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