so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.