What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
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