Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
