it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.