Texts From Last Night

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  (850): View more from Florida

  Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff

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  (850): Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff http://tfl.nu/wuol
  Replies (12) Good night (3669) Bad night (726)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome

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  (208): I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome http://tfl.nu/zb92
  Replies (30) Good night (2861) Bad night (6494)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again

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  (508): Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again http://tfl.nu/g8s7
  Replies (39) Good night (2969) Bad night (695)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  zippers are such a cool invention

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  (201): zippers are such a cool invention http://tfl.nu/t5qh
  Replies (29) Good night (4825) Bad night (672)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.

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  (828): As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance. http://tfl.nu/tng6
  Replies (85) Good night (9469) Bad night (1336)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.

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  (651): She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three. http://tfl.nu/b36h
  Replies (17) Good night (837) Bad night (5201)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.

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  (240): woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again. http://tfl.nu/b9n0
  Replies (24) Good night (4183) Bad night (1393)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated

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  (517): There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated http://tfl.nu/7pju
  Replies (10) Good night (1438) Bad night (5017)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.

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  (202): She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified. http://tfl.nu/adq0
  Replies (14) Good night (1552) Bad night (5585)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  when did we get a doorman?

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  we were also in the wrong building...

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  (203): yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman. (508): when did we get a doorman? (203): we were also in the wrong building... http://tfl.nu/c2ke
  Replies (15) Good night (7015) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes

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  (410): I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes http://tfl.nu/6kum
  Replies (3) Good night (1758) Bad night (674)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina

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  (440): It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina http://tfl.nu/iyhy
  Replies (7) Good night (676) Bad night (1358)
• Favorite

  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.

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  (270): Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. http://tfl.nu/l82s
  Replies (4) Good night (1143) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor

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  (425): I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor http://tfl.nu/0wlf
  Replies (0) Good night (310) Bad night (450)
• Favorite

  (636): View more from Missouri

  I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it

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  (636): I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it http://tfl.nu/ihkd
  Replies (2) Good night (794) Bad night (303)

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