Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
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