all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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