nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
