Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Text me some of your sweat
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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