yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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