I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
