I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
