I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Randomize
