She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
