Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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