just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
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