so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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