I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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