Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
