Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
