so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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