im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
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Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
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Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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