you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize